Hi, has long since we talked, I have not forgotten you.
Instead, I have been meaning to write, but I lack courage. Well, today I was
sitting here in front of the TV as usual and for some moments I was not there
anymore, has turned around, while my body remained there. I traveled to a far
distant place and at the same time close to that reality we do not ask me how
because it would not have the exact answer and not why this trip.
I have to tell you what happens to me. I have the need to
tell you of my feelings, my fears, of my joys, my fears and of my smiles. I
miss you I know, we lost ourselves before our mistakes. Left with the company
of each other to vent. At least that.
Today I come to ask for help, but help. I do not know what
happens, I get lost out there (or will I find?) At the moment I do not know. I
walk around doing what comes to the head, not exactly. For if I still have
rationality, this is not to harm others by my actions.It's like I'm breaking
free, by following my instincts, living for pleasure. But at the same time I
feel a run away from trouble. I do what I'm doing to fill the void that left
me. I do not think it's a phase. Ie. But I wonder "what if this phase
lasts a lifetime?" I'll be creating another personality, building a new
identity, I never was or what I always wanted to be? Understand me? I would
appreciate your answers every time you write.Make eye contact, I need you. If
you do not need me okay, I admire him for that. I wish I had the power to
understand, to find myself alone. I thought we could be friends, and sometimes
each other psychologists. Not a good idea?
And you? Miss me? You are living your life like me, running
away, hiding, trying to find it or still using all that enviable wisdom and
rationality? I hope you're happy where you are and with whom. Really.
For too long you wanted, you wanted, and I waited. I do not
know what fell on me and I realized it was all in my head forming an image of
you unreal. I confess that after that day I thought maybe things would change,
do not know but it was all so beautiful. But today, on this trip, I realized it
was a farewell and you made that moment special, I felt.Do not know if I thank
you or hate you for leaving me so. Perhaps all that is happening is a little
fault of his. Yes, you. You threw it on me by force, I thought I was prepared
to endure all this angst. No! I was not, you could not have done it, oh I do
not even know if it should ... You had your reasons and I respect. But now is a
few seconds can forget what happened or maybe remember and stand beside me and
help me find it? Give me the answer.
For now I'm still here, doing everything I'm doing, this is
making me happy, I know new thrills. And if I must die to rise and go another
way, I promise it will help me? I'm insecure. This is evident not it? But if I
have to follow where I'm going to go and a new path for life? I do not know the
way, if I come to help me lose? When available to answer my questions.
Meanwhile I will follow (and maybe I'll wait or find ourselves out there)
Kisses. Miss you. Congratulations to both of us.
